A Celebration of Mama’s 84th

I looked at her and tried to imagine what it would like to be 84 years old. She was born in 1937…1937! Her eyes have witnessed so many things, some of them she has shared over the years and some that I am certain she kept protected. Her mood this morning is a little different than other mornings. That happens often with people living with Dementia, there are times when they seem to be lost in their own head, in their own thoughts. This morning, the morning of her 84^th birthday, was one of those days. So, as she sat in silence and I respected the atmosphere that she had set and sat in silence with her. It is easy to get caught up, consumed in the decline. I have certainly been guilty of this but something about today was different. Today I thought about and, as best I could, I remembered the life she has lived.  I sat in silence with her, and I honored the woman that she is. 

Even as a young girl, I knew that she was a force…

My Mama is a remarkable woman. She was raised in Trenton, South Carolina. She is a daughter of a Pastor and a School Teacher. As she would proudly tell us, “I always knew that I was going to become a Nurse!”, and she did.  She was decisive and determined. So determined that she finished High School at 16 and left home to enter The Lincoln School of Nursing in Durham, North Carolina. I think about how courageous and gutsy that was. Remember this was in 1953 in rural South Carolina and as a 16 year-old African- American girl, she had the courage to leave home. She had the courage to dream. She had the courage to pursue her dreams.  My Mama became a Registered Nurse in the 1950’s, defying all odds. My Mama became a Nurse Practitioner in 1973. So think for a moment about all the political, social, racial events that transpired in that 20 year span and think of all the obstacles that were in her way and then I invite you to close your eyes and honor her and all the woman in her peer group. They persisted, they survived, they achieved. I remember the respect her presence commanded at the hospital, how her colleagues (nurses and doctors) honored her knowledge. Even as a young girl, I knew that she was a force to be reckoned with and I admired her, I still do. It is so amazing that I still get messages from people sharing powerful stories of how my Mama helped them navigate medical care or community resources. And I am certain that I am only aware of a fraction of what she was able to achieve. 

…it is hard watching a person that you love

and respect fade away in front of you…

their loss is felt and mourned daily. 

This is hard. Every part of this journey is hard. I do not ever want to portray it as easy or that it is easy for me. It is not. There are beautiful moments. But it is hard watching a person that you love and respect fade away in front of you. Their loss is felt and mourned daily. I don’t ever want to make light of it. And although it requires a great deal of sacrifice, the opportunity to provide a loving and safe home for Mama is an honor. And although I often I struggle to find the balance between the role she once played in my life and the role I now play in hers, I still remember, respect, and admire the woman she is. My Mama is Bobbie H. Fair. She is a Nurse, a Pioneer, a Role Model, a Phenomenal Woman.

be well Loved Ones