I asked Alexa to drop in on both of their devices and I came up empty. I called out a few times (each time louder than the previous) and nothing. So of course, I went searching for them. I looked in the obvious places and they were not there, not in the game room, media room, not in their rooms, or my lady room (which is supposed to be off limits, but they seem to forget that) and just as I was about to call out again, I heard laughter. I turned around and I saw them, together on the patio. They were laughing so hard while eating their favorite meal, spaghetti with meat sauce.
I hear cheers and applause when I say, “It’s Spaghetti night!” Even Mama loves it, hers is served as meat sauce over zoodles and she closes her eyes and hums when she tastes the first bite…every time! It’s so awesome to witness, and I make a point not to miss it.
Spaghetti with meat sauce is a staple in our home. They ask for it at least once a week. So, I stood and watched for a while as they talked and laughed, clearly enjoying each other’s company. They are 22 months apart (currently 11 and 12—for only one more week, when Pierce turns 13) and are at an age where they don’t always get along. He is sometimes annoyed by her youthful playfulness and she doesn’t enjoy his frequent habit of walking up behind her and scaring her. So today, it was especially nice to see and hear them having genuine fun with each other over two big bowls of spaghetti. As I stood there, I honestly forgot why I was looking for them in the first place.
it’s easy to forget to slow down and enjoy the moments as they unfold
It is so easy to get caught up in schedules. I often have to fight back my instinct to be a timekeeper in our home. I know that sometimes it’s necessary to keep everyone on track, but it’s also easy to forget to slow down and enjoy the moments as they unfold. Watching them on the patio was one of those times that I needed to stop and not only enjoy watching them but allow them to fully enjoy the “freeness” of the moment. We all need those moments.
I struggle with being still. There is just so much to do. On a good day it all runs smooth but at any given time, one thing can throw off the entire day. So, my mind is always working on contingencies. “If this happens, I’ll do this!”, “If this doesn’t happen, I’ll do this!” There is no “freeness” in these moments, only task creations, task assignments, and task completions. When my eyes open in the morning, I say a prayer and it is often a prayer of increase—for God to give me what I need to meet the day’s demands. The very next thing I do is reach for my glasses and then the phone. A late night/early morning text from one of Mama’s caregivers will change the course of my entire day. There is no “freeness” in these moments.
Throughout my day, as I juggle all the priorities of my life— one just as important as the next, I am often boxed in by what has to happen and when it has to happen. It’s not always fun and there is no “freeness” in this, there is necessity to make it all happen, to complete my tasks.
I went to search for my own “freeness”.
Tomorrow will bring enough obligation and tasks for itself,
So, as I watched our children, so happy and so free, I decided to not remember what I wanted them to do. I decided to not be a task master in that moment. I decided to model their behavior instead of trying to change it. I went to search for my own “freeness”. Tomorrow will bring enough obligation and tasks for itself, I focused on the moment that I was in. I slowly backed out of the room, so not to distract them. I grabbed my lavender eye mask, laid across the bed and asked Alexa to play “Beach Sounds” from Amazon music for me. I’d like to say that she did, and I was able to completely embrace my “freeness” in that moment, but that would not be true. In true sassy Alexa fashion (yes, I fully believe that Alexa chooses to be sassy at times) she replied, “I’m sorry I don’t know that one, but I have Beach Sounds by Healing FM!” I sighed and let her play her selection, and it was perfect. For the next few minutes I embraced the “freeness” of the moment and made an agreement with myself to do it daily.